Oftentimes I am imperfect....in fact... All the time I AM!
I search everyday for something I can do better or something I can change. Usually God reveals them to me thru someone or something. Well this week I didn't like his answer... So I did what every rebellious child does... I ignored it! I WAS RIGHT IN FEELING THE WAY I DID... Right!?
Let me back up and give you the background on this... I am going to be completely transparent... I have already admitted I am not perfect and God is not going to leave me alone until I am so...
I recently allowed a family member to offend me so deeply to the very core of my being. It consumed me that day and allllllllll that week. Every mention of that persons name, every situation spoken of that remotely had anything to do with them I rejected. They has "p'd" me off and more importantly hurt my feelings and made me cry. I felt rejected and angry at the same time. Now in the grand scheme of things I was able a few times throughout the week to step back and try and figure out why I was so upset by he situation... I mean... It was nothing personal... Right!?!? BAM!!!! Right there the devil, the enemy, would remind me it was personal... All my hard work and preparation was for nothing... Well not nothing... But most certainly was I rejected. .......UNTIL Sunday morning when I was sitting in church....
The pastor wasn't even speaking on this particular thing... But every word that came out of his mouth was saying the same thing. "You are loved, accepted and you are my child". (I know Lord, you love me, but I am lacking lovE and affection and acceptance in the places I want it Lord... But God... But God) I couldn't even finish the thought... He constantly over and over was telling me I was ALREADY accepted by he one one that matters, the one who loves unconditionally, my Father, my Savior, my Redeemer! The bitterness I had formulated all week long, thought about, cried about, complained about, was nothing but the devil's ploy to stop whatever God is doing in my life... Or perhaps the life of my children or a family member...because he lives
on this type of destructive behavior.
So I am sitting in church and God will not leave me alone. This same reminder is swimming around in my head and my heart over and over... I am sorry Pastor Josh... I did not hear all of your message... It's God's fault... Hahaha...j/k... No not really. Anyway... I did nothing... I didn't seek prayer on it... I didn't seek counsel... I didn't do much as or my Bible and read on the subject. I went on with my normal Sunday business.
Fast forward to tonight... It is 10pm... I am tired, stressed, overwhelmed, and emotional... And just need a minute with he One who I know can make me all better... I needed to feel loved and I knew just where to go... His word! then I needed to get to bed... I have to get at 445 in the am for loooong day at the hospital...
Well funny how sometimes God sorta has a sense of humor too... Read below my devotion for tonight...
"Accept the Right Thoughts
As Christians, we can't accept every thought that comes into our heads. Instead, we need to measure each thought against the standard of Scripture, like the verse above tells us to do.
Here's a practical example: If someone hurts your feelings, you shouldn't remain upset with them for days on end. That only gives Satan the opportunity to plant seeds of bitterness.
Instead, you need to reject negative thinking and refuse to let it drain you of your peace and joy.
You must turn to God and say, "Father, I need Your strength. By faith I choose to receive Your grace so that I may forgive those who mistreated or wronged me. I ask You to bless them and help me go on with my life. In Jesus' name, amen."
As our minds are renewed with God's Word, our thinking will change and line up with Scripture. Then, day by day, godly boundaries around our thoughts will be established and reinforced. These limits will not only keep out the deceptions of the enemy, but help you live a more enjoyable, godly life.
Prayer Starter: Lord, I only want to accept the right thoughts. Alert me when the enemy brings a bad thought my way so that I can take it captive into obedience to You."
Yep... Exactly... When I needed love... I was disciplined... Yet once I sat back and thought of it I was getting love. Corrective love! God was showing me that bitter thoughts and actually believed I am not loved and accepted is not exactly what I need. When I feel that way (rejection is something I struggle with... Secretly... From many people, places and situations) it is Him I need to seek acceptance and love from. Once I am secure in Him and who he wants me to be, my thoughts will change and the boundaries of the thoughts and all that goes on around me will be forever changed!
We are programmed as fleshly humans to feel rejection, lovelessness, and yearn for affection, and please do not allow me to paint myself as a rejected, unloved, and lonely person! Because I am not! I am blessed and I know it and cannot fathom why God would love me the way he does, but I will admit that there are certain things/people/situations in my life that I have these feelings about. I have to pray everyday to keep that bitterness away. Whatever the case may be.
I said all that to say that God loves me. Others love me... Whether they show it or not, doesn't matter.... At least it shouldn't. And even if they don't... Who cares!?!? That's something THEY need to deal with God on. We have loving Father/savior/guide that we need to anchor into everyday And he will guide our thoughts. Yes there will still be bitterness, rejection, and all that other nastiness, but as we draw and stay nearer it will get easier.
Here is the verse that goes with he devotion... I needed this, God gave me this, and he gave me this blog. He told to get up outta my seat Sunday morning and go write it... Maybe just for me... Maybe for someone elSe... I dunno... But I must say I feel much better and I feel like God is pleased
With me right now.
"We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5 MSG)"
Again I say...I am IMPERFECT... everyday I try to improve at something, give something that only God can handle to Him, or continue one of these processes and this assignment He has tasked me with is HUGE and will likely take me a long time to do... But I know as long as I am working on it... He can be pleased.
Night night,
Brandy
